How to focus on what you're eating

I figured something out tonight.

It's a lot easier to focus on what you're eating when you're eating something really really really good.

Yeah, I know - DUH!

I made some fish tonight, using a recipe from the Pioneer Woman and fish that a friend gave me from his fishing trip in Cabo. The fish was Dorado. I've never had it before that I can think of, so I thought this recipe would be a good way to make it. (I just looked it up, turns out it's Mahi-Mahi. Now that I've heard of - and eaten).

OH MY GOSH was it good - and super simple. The best kind of recipe! (By the way, I figure if I link to it enough times, you'll go out and try it.....)

Anyway, I sat down to have my dinner and had my usual argument with myself about reading a magazine or maybe turning on the TV, and I realized - I didn't want to do either. This dish was so good (OK, I sampled before I got to the table), I really wanted to enjoy it with no distractions!

And even crazier.... When I was done with dinner, I didn't want dessert. This is earth-shattering! Unless I'm super stuffed, I ALWAYS want dessert!

Ironically, we were talking about Pleasers, Teasers, & Rejects during Monday night's Thin Within meeting. And this is just another example of why we should concentrate on eating whole-body pleasers. BECAUSE, if it's something you truly enjoy, you will focus, you will enjoy, and you will be satisfied.

And I'm so excited that I eat such small servings that the 3 pieces of fish my friend brought me will stretch into 5 more meals!

Yummy Yum Yum Yum!!!

How to be "In the Present"?

As my Thin Within group was reviewing our notes from week 6 tonight, I was thinking again about "Being in the Present". Every time it comes up, it's like God gives me a poke in the arm and says, "Pay attention to this!"

I highlighted 2 things from the Week 6 Foundation Lesson (Workbook 1)

"Similarly, it can be fruitless to focus inappropriately on the future, thinking that life will finally be perfect and worth living when you reach your ideal size. This is a lie from Satan that keeps you from living in the present moment, which our precious Savior and Lord has given you right now."

"What does a mind set on the Spirit look like? It is focused on the path of God's provision, living and enjoying life purposefully in the present. It is set on the things of God, the truth of His Word, and your identity in Christ. It dwells on the affirmations of God's Word that declare your ability to do all things through Christ that lives in you."

Both of these quotes talk about God wanting me to be "in the present moment". And God himself has brought that to my attention lately.

Here's the thing.... I'm a planner. By profession and by nature - I plan. What I'm going to do tonight, when my next party will be, what night can I ride this week, what's my next deliverable on my project.... and so on. My brain is always thinking ahead (Just ask my friends that go to Disneyland with me..... "Well, if we want to have lunch at that restaurant, we should do this ride, then that one, and then we can go over that way and hit those two rides, and that should put us right in the right place just about the time we're ready to eat....")

So, how does someone who is a planner by nature live in the present? If I planned it right, then the present is almost irrelevant because it's going smoothly and I don't have to think about it - but I do have to think about what's coming up next, you see?

I'm stumped. I honestly am. I don't have any brilliant answer for this one. Which annoys me, because I like having the answers....

Lord, you're definitely taking me out of my comfort zone with this one. Focus on the present? Don't worry about tomorrow? How can I possibly do that? Really, I don't know how. Lord, you made me a planner. This is something you've gifted me with and something I have always thought would factor in to how I can serve you. And it has before. But you are clearly telling me that it's time to discover the present. I don't know how to do that Lord. I don't know how to turn off the planning part of my brain. I need your help with that. Show me how to do it - how to stop and just be in the present and enjoy what is. And help me to see what it is you want me to learn from this too. Thank you Lord, for the lesson I don't quite understand and haven't really experienced yet. I know that as with all things, you mean this to work for my good.

Remembrance Stones...

In my "The Truth Project" class last night, we talked about "Remembrance Stones" that God had the Israelites place in certain places to mark a significant event in their history. The purpose was to give them a grounding in their own history - something to look back to, to remind them what God has done for them, and to keep them focused on God.

I was thinking about that and how it relates to Thin Within for me. I've been praying a lot lately for God to help me to remember what I am trying to do. I know what I'm supposed to do, but I get caught up so easily in the daily busy-ness, crisis, stress that I often forget to seek God's help, forget to pay attention to what I'm doing, lose focus on my eating, etc.

As I was praying that this morning, God reminded me that I actually have a Remembrance Stone on my desk at work. It's something we did in church one Sunday ages ago - I can't even remember what the lesson was. There was a pile of river rocks in the front of the church and everyone took one, wrote a key verse on the rock and brought it home. A few months ago, after a particularly horrible day at work, God reminded me of that rock and I brought it here as something to help me keep my eyes on him. I realized this morning that it had been pushed to the corner of my desk, so now it's back - front and center.

He also reminded me to get out my Hunger Graph. I had handed them out to my TW group last week, but forgot to take a copy for myself. I would half-heartedly remind myself that I need to get that out, but until this morning, I hadn't done it. But I'm realizing that I really need to get my focus back. I've been giving this lip-service again and I don't want to do that.

So I got out a few hunger graphs...

I marked out my breakfast numbers. In spite of telling myself I would focus, my mind got busy thinking about all the things I need to deal with at work today, and I went past 5. So I marked that down (it wasn't much past 5, but that's not the point!)

I was just laughing at myself because I started getting hungry earlier than usual (I always get hungry mid-morning, but it's usually an hour or so later than I did today). I pulled something out of my snack drawer, but I waited - I knew if I ate, I had to write that down, so I waited thinking, "Am I really hungry?" (I was).

I'm now at that comfortable 5 - not feeling a lump of food in my stomach but not feeling hungry either. That's how I like it - non-urgent hunger, non-stuffed satisfaction. A few minutes ago, I noticed some M&Ms sitting on my desk. I was starting to reach for one when I spied the hunger graph. "What are you doing? You have to write that down!!" Not being hungry, I didn't want to admit to eating on impulse. So it stopped me!

So, God has given me 2 Remembrance stones today - one is an actual rock. The other is a piece of paper. And I'll take it!

Thanks God!

Sometimes God drives me crazy

Nearly every lesson that God has been teaching me for the past year or so has had to do with endurance - sticking it out, being in it for the long haul, keeping going when I don't feel like going anymore. And not to worry, God also shows me that he's in it with me. That he keeps his promises. That he's walking right beside me.....

The problem is (and probably why I've been dealing with this for so long) - I'm an "instant gratification" girl. I want what I want when I want it - and I can usually get it. So this long haul stuff is pretty hard for me.

Last night as I was driving home from the desert (about a 2 hour drive), I got into this with God. Was praying about some things I've been praying about for a long time. Knowing that God keeps his promises - he's shown me that, I have no doubts - but asking, "Why does it have to take so long????" Ok, I was being whiny.... But I just don't understand sometimes why, if he has made a promise, and the promise is a good thing, why it has to take so long to come to fruition. It may be because I still have much to learn. It may be because all the "ducks" aren't in a row yet. It may have to do with another person and not even me. I don't know and may never know those answers. But I get darn impatient with the waiting and found myself very frustrated with it and venting to God last night.

And I knew what I was doing when I was doing it. I told God that I know everything works for my good. I told him that I'm not doubting that he'll keep his promises. And I told him that I'm just frustrated that things sometimes seem to be going nowhere. But I also told him that I didn't want to maintain that attitude. That I wanted to focus on his faithfulness, and not my own petulance. I asked for help for that.

It didn't come right away.

In fact, God has been reminding me he has a sense of humor again....

This morning when I was reading my weekly lesson in my TW workbook, I came across this:

"What does a mind set on the Spirit look like? It is focused on the path of God's provision, living and enjoying life purposefully in the present. It is set on the things of God, the truth of His Word, and your identity in Christ. It dwells on the affirmation of God's Word that declare your ability to do all things through Christ who lives in you." (Workbook 1, Week 6)

The statement about living and enjoying life purposefully in the present jumped out at me. When I am getting impatient, when I'm complaining that God isn't working fast enough for me, am I living in the present? No - I'm focusing on what is yet to come, and forgetting to fix my eyes on Jesus. OK God - I got that.

Then I went to church this morning and guess what our sermon topic was? "Abraham: The Challenge of Waiting"

Think God's trying to make a point here?

Our pastor talked about trials as having these purposes:

• To reveal areas of needed growth
• To strengthen our ability to trust God
• To build endurance (there's that word again!)
• To strengthen our hope

I will admit that through the last year, God has taught me many, many of these things. I've been focusing on the first bullet today - revealing areas of needed growth. Even in (or maybe especially in) my petulance, I recognize the need for maturity. Whining is not exactly the most mature response to a trial, is it? Not that God can't handle me lashing out at him once in awhile, but it's not exactly the response I should be having.

So, here I am, still waiting, still impatient (in fact, I suspect my over-purchasing at a street fair today was a reaction to this), but at least aware that I still need to grow. God's faithfulness in this last year has strengthened my faith, strengthened my trust in him, given me ability to hope (let alone strengthen it!). I'm working on building endurance - he's shown me time and time again that quitting when times get tough is actually pointless, if not counter-productive. So I can see that I need to grow. I've been praying about that today - that I would see these areas I need to grow in, understand what I really need to learn. And that I would mature.

Our pastor went on to say that trials finish the work of faith in our lives so that we can say, "Whatever God wants me to do, I will do." I want to be able to say that.

The lesson today was about the story in Genesis where God tells Abraham to take his only son Isaac and present him as a sacrifice. This is the son that Abraham waited 99 years for. The son through which God had promised to extend Abraham's line. His only son. And yet Abraham, fully understanding what was being asked of him, didn't hesitate to obey. He did not know if God would provide an alternate at the last minute. He did not know why God had asked him to do this. But he did know that God keeps his promises.

The lesson: God knew that Abraham would do this, but Abraham didn't. It was Abraham that had something to learn through this trial, not God. Wow.

I'm resisting the urge to pray, "God, would you help me to learn this lesson, and would you help me to do it right away?" I suspect I have something to learn about how I will behave during the wait. Or how I need to behave.....

Oy... I'm full.....

I'm not really sure what to think about this weekend. It's such an odd thing. I overate (for me), I know that. Nearly every meal, I was at least at a 6, if not more.

But the thing is, someone who was new to our group made several comments about how I "eat like a bird". So it became easy to fool myself into saying "I'm fine".

I'm not sure why it was so tough for me to combat those comments this time - I've heard comments like that plenty of times before. It might have been the combination of Fat Machinery - Comments from others, Paying too much for food, Servings that were way too large, No way to take home leftovers....

And here's a new one - how about eating too much because the food you've already had wasn't that good, so you kept trying other things hoping it would be better than the last? That's what happened at our Carb Load Dinner. Bad food, bad service (the restaurant was completely overwhelmed).... Standing in line for 30 minutes for a slice of pizza that you hope is better than the pasta you already ate.... (and of course, paying way too much for all of it). We actually went out for dessert after Carb Loading hoping to end the evening on a better note. I ended it on a STUFFED note.

Sure, I can try to justify... I had a 26.2 mile bike ride the next morning... We were going to Disneyland the day after.... Yeah, my body needs more food, that's it.....

Not really.....

I woke up Tuesday thinking "Bread.... Water.... That's it... No more rich foods, no more greasy foods, no more TOO MUCH food....." And I had to laugh - it took FOREVER to get hungry. In fact, I may not have been truly hungry until Wednesday night.

Looking back, I do believe I could have done much worse. I covered myself in prayer before I left (although rarely while I was gone). I had opportunities to eat much, much more. I ate too much for me, but to other people, I was eating like a bird.

It's a reminder that God wants me to look to him constantly. A one-time prayer before leaving isn't enough - it's a process of continually looking to God for my strength & support. That's what I keep dropping. I get busy. I get distracted. I forget. How do I fix that? Tie a string around my finger to remind me? Or maybe another prayer asking for help not to forget?

I'll be working on that.....

Preparation

This weekend will be a challenging one, food-wise. And I know this.....

I'm off today for the Long Beach Marathon Bike Tour. My cousin is running the 5k, and my friends and I are riding the marathon route. We did this last year and it was a BLAST! I can't wait. But this is what I have ahead of me.....

=> Lunch at "Schooner or Later" - featured on "Diners, Drive-Ins, & Dives"

=> Carb Load Dinner (Note - I do not find that carb loading helps my performance. I need more protein than carbs, but that doesn't mean I don't LOVE carbs and can't wait for the dinner!)

=> Little to no breakfast - bringing my home-made energy bars, which actually should hold me quite well

=> 26.2 mile bike ride, and whatever we can scrounge for lunch afterwards!

=> Celebratory Dinner at the Napa Rose - the 5 Star restaurant at the Grand Californian Hotel at Disneyland. Unbelievably good dining experience.

=> Disneyland - not exactly your healthiest of dining locations, particularly when you're there all day.

So, I started out my day in prayer - Hey God, I know this is going to be a challenging weekend, so I need your help to keep me focused, keep me on track. Don't let me drag up all my "usual suspect" excuses for overindulging!

I know that I need to keep my eyes on Jesus. I know that I can easily turn away and make all sorts of excuses. And I know that I'll be fighting all sorts of distractions and temptations. So I'll need all the help I can get. This wont be a one-time prayer!!

But I want to emerge from this challenge victorious!

A new purpose for my bike

Did I mention I got a new bike?

Notice the big grin on my face? I love my new bike. It's a real road bike, which is taking some getting used to, and it's made of carbon, so it's super light (and fast) and it's the Susan G. Komen edition, which not only means it's black & hot pink, but also that 10% of the price went to the Susan G. Komen Foundation - very cool.

So here's the thing - this is very different from my old bike - with the road bike, I'm leaned over much more and I have to use my core muscles (abdomen & back) to support my body or I put too much pressure on my arms, wrists and hands.

And that's not easy.

BUT - what I've discovered is I definitely cannot overeat when I ride this bike - because you cannot use your core muscles when you are stuffed or there are other consequences....

So, I figure God is now using my bike, which he gifted to me, and I love, as an object lesson and a reminder not to overeat.

And I think that's pretty darn cool!!!